Gareth Southgate tries to call up Ivorian after realising all the English players are shit
New England boss Gareth Southgate admitted this week that he had tried to call up Wilfried Zaha, who plays for the African country Ivory Coast.
He said in a statement, “I would have loved to have called up Zaha. Even though he’s playing badly in a terrible Crystal Palace side, compared to some of the players in the current squad he looks like Neymar.
“I mean I had to call up Jermain fucking Defoe, who was not good enough when Emile Heskey still got in the England team.”
The chairman of the FA had to politely remind Southgate that calling up players from other countries wasn’t allowed.
Southgate believed he could change 60 years of English failure on the international stage with a groundbreaking strategy of calling up foreigners, the lack of whom he decided, was the biggest problem in the England squad, but will have to come up with a new plan after being told it wasn’t in the rules.